A couple weeks back, I was bathing E. As she was reclined, with my hand supporting her entire back and head, she looked up at me, fighting the urge to sleep. We held each others’ gaze for about a minute, and she smiled warmly – a smile which warmed my heart.
It also brought up the Bible passage from Luke 18:16-17:
But Jesus called for them and said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs. Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it.”
Harper Collins Study Bible (1989)
New Revised Standard Version
As E and I continue to establish that caregiver-child trust and relationship, I recognize a parallel between my parenthood with her childhood, and God’s parenthood with my proverbial childhood.
As a Christian, I am called by Jesus to have a childlike faith and trust in God. He knows what He has in store for each of us, and while I may petition my wants and desires to Him, ultimately He has an end game already in mind. This childlike faith and trust is something that is difficult to achieve, and takes a concerted effort.
A few years back, I was diagnosed with an “Adjustment Disorder, with Anxiety.” I chuckle at the, “adjustment disorder,” as a military spouse, since our entire military lifestyle is chock full of adjustments and changes. My disorder, at the time, would manifest in anxiety – sweaty palms, shallow breathing, and the occasional panic attacks (which, prior to counseling, were kept at bay with medication). At some point during counseling, I realized my anxiety, and even the adjustment disorder I had, was present because I didn’t have trust in God’s game plan for me.
I doubted Him, and I didn’t trust He knew what he was doing with my life. I fought His will, instead wanting to impose my desires and wishes.
“Letting go, and letting God,” is such a simple statement. And yet, the practice of the sentiment, and the reality of it, is much more difficult. Ultimately, I try to remember to turn my gaze upon the One who made me, and rest calmly in His arms, knowing His will be done.
Like my daughter in the bathtub, gazing up at me completely trusting I had her best interest at heart, I have (slowly) learned to do the same with Our Lord. I have learned to keep perspective on the Lord, and know that, if I have done everything I can do to achieve an outcome, it is up to Him to see it through to His will.
Much like the trust fall exercise, I have to surrender my fears, and fall into His arms.
**Not everyone suffering from anxiety can benefit from what helps me. Sometimes, medical and/or professional intervention is needed. Therefore, if you have any of the aforementioned symptoms, please do not hesitate to consult medical professionals, to include doctors and/or therapists.**