Almost every military family I know is familiar with Murphy’s Law – the law that states, “if anything can go wrong, it will.” That Law is most commonly referenced when military families discuss deployments or moving.
Last week, I gave a CFS update as to my current level of functioning since having my daughter. I had written it a week prior to posting, and unbeknownst to me when it published last week, I would be writing about CFS again a week later. I try very hard to not blog about my CFS because, while it impacts me, it doesn’t define me. So, I try to power through things, present an able-bodied person to those I meet, and try to just manage symptoms as best I have learned in the decades I have suffered this chronic illness. Sometimes, I have periods of partial-remission, but I attribute that to being on top of combatting the symptoms when they quickly appear.
Last week, my back muscles locked up – they started knotting on Monday, and were fully locked by Wednesday. Wednesday, I spent 3/4 of my day in bed because of my muscles, and started experiencing a sore throat. I thought nothing of it, since both muscle fatigue or the prior tensing of muscles, and sore throats, are pretty par for the course for my CFS flairs. When I spoke with a friend on Thursday, I simply told her I was still trying to determine if I had a nasty cold coming on, or if I had a CFS flair up starting.
By Friday, I decided since I am now a mom, I would the responsible thing and go make sure my sore throat wasn’t strep throat, just in case I inadvertently pass nasty stuff on to my children (especially the preschooler who loves to steal my drinks when I’m not looking). The rapid test came back negative, but the doctor noted my glands were indeed swollen (I had told her that symptom as well – in case she didn’t notice I couldn’t turn my head), and she sent a second culture off for the “gold star test,” of which I am still awaiting the results. At this point, I expect the results to be negative.
This past weekend, I took my list of symptoms to Dr. Google after a couple well-meaning friends or family members asked me if I maybe had mononucleosis (mono). According to the Mayo Clinic online, I was meeting 5 of 8 symptoms of mono, which I can’t get again (and they can’t test me for because I will always test positive – the virus that causes mono remains dormant in the body) because I had it in the 2nd grade. But, what I found out was, the Epstein Bar Virus, which is what runs the show with mono, can be reactivated, for various unknown reasons.
So, now I am suspecting that somehow, my Epstein Bar Virus (EBV) is reactivated.
Fun, right? It’s not.
What’s all this got to do with Murphy and Murphy’s Law?
In case you missed my previous posts – our family is getting ready to move!!!! We are doing the, “give away, keep, throw away,” piles throughout the house (started before I became symptomatic). We are packing up some goods to move to a storage unit before the movers come to clean our house out for long-term storage, while we locate our next residence, from a couple states away. We have a 3 floor house to clean. We have dogs and a preschooler running around like banshees, and a baby demanding she be held and nursed every 3 hours, if she’ll let me take a 3 hour break from holding her.
I simply do not have time to be sick.
Yet, not only am I sick, but I’m sick with something that has rendered me unable to stand for long periods of time, and wouldn’t let me eat or drink over the weekend because of the severity of my throat soreness.
If this is not a full EBV reactivation, it is definitely the worst CFS crash I have ever experienced.
And, all I can do is shrug my shoulders, acknowledge I don’t have time for this, and sit here or lay here, half-awake, recognizing that I have to hand it to Murphy – he was on to something.
I also have to hand all the moving stress over to God – He is the only one in control, and His will be done with this move…