Believing in the Best

Growing up, I was the introverted bookworm commonly referred to as the teacher’s pet.  I recall the time I ceased being popular, and stopped caring about being popular – when I stood up for a young girl in my fourth grade class, incurring the wrath of the girls in our class.

I found solace from the mean girls in class by throwing myself into reading.  Reading gave me an escape from life, and allowed me to travel space and time, taking me away from the other kids in my class that made me dread approaching school in the mornings.

Now that I am an adult, I find the scars of my child and young adulthood still remain.  As I begin another new chapter, I recognize my social apprehension still lingers, and if I allow it, can render me crippled.

A couple years ago, I wrote about our week of lasts. This past week, I have been focusing on our week of firsts. As I have thought about our specific first activities at this new installation, I have felt the all too familiar feelings and fears resurge: will those that I meet like me, or at the very least be kind to me?!

I recognize I could allow my inner voice to win – the voice that says I won’t be good enough, and I won’t be accepted for the woman I am today. Or, I can silence that inner critic, and forge ahead, allowing myself to meet new people, and believe the best in those I meet.

It’s a conscious choice and decision to make at each and every new duty location. Today, this location, I choose to hope for the best, and commit to allowing others into my life, because I want to continue to believe there are kindred spirits in the world, and that I can learn something from every new place in which I find myself.

I commit to modeling believing in the best of others, to my children.

And, I will continue to be hopeful for the best in our new home.

2 thoughts on “Believing in the Best

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  1. This post makes me sad in a way. You have never been “less than”. You have always been the kind one, the go-getter, and the over-achiever. The fact that others don’t see and accept that as a positive in a person, is their issue, not yours. The fact that you are a part of the military means jealousy, competition, importancy based on another’s rank or achievements, and judgements. That also is not who you are. Being the kind of person that you are is sometimes lonely and frustrating. You don’t need those things in your life. You are an awesome wife, mommy, daughter, sister, auntie, and friend. If that is not enough for someone else, I am sorry for them b/c they are going to miss all that they are truly looking for and cannot accept for themselves. You are also things that people fear- common sense, no nonsense, well educated, well spoken, and thoughtful. They don’t understand positive qualities b/c they don’t understand them. Notice the qualities of those you consider your true friends…you will find the same qualities that make you you. You “get it” when it comes to important things in life. Be grateful and happy with who you are….God made you in His image an likeness, not to be like other PEOPLE or who they want you to be. I love you, for what it’s worth, as your mom.

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    1. Thank you! It’s not meant to be a “sad,” post per se; instead, it is meant to be a reminder that the way I adjust to new situations requires a constant, conscious effort and choice. Sometimes, it turns out to cause pain reminiscent of the “mean girl” days, but I can’t allow my past experiences to ruin my current (or future) adventures!

      Like

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