I often ask God for signs for direction in my life. The last time I vividly recall asking God where He wanted me, I threw out jokingly in the middle of a prayer, “God, if you don’t want me to go back to work right now, I better get pregnant as soon as my husband gets home from deployment.”
It was a joke.
God laughed.
Nine months after my husband’s return, we welcomed our little girl.
Throughout the years, I have learned to seek His guidance; while I frequently don’t have a habit of asking why, I do have a habit of asking where He wants me, or, what next? Sometimes, His answers are loud and unmistakable. Other times, His answers are more subtle.
Lately, I have turned to Him again, trying to determine what He wants me to do with my life currently. I know He wants me to write, and He is helping hone my voice. However, I haven’t heard anything from Him except, “Write.”
As I have struggled, sometimes through writer’s block, other times through thoughts of self-doubt or doubt about my commitment to this venture, I have also continued asking God if this is what He wants for me.
In the past few weeks, I have toyed again with re-entering the workforce, volunteering more, or just focusing on my family. I have struggled to find clarity in discerning His will for what is happening in my life.
Two weeks ago, I overheard, “Perhaps this is the exact moment for which you have been created, Esther 4:14.” That chord struck a nerve, and when I looked the passage up in my Bible, this is the exact wording that came up:
Yet, the phrase didn’t provide me with the clear answer I was seeking.
Yesterday, I finished reading Girlfriends and Other Saints: Companions on My Journey of Faith, by Teresa Tomeo. The final chapter reiterated the quote from Esther, and made me stop and realize He is sending me subtle signs.
Given my track record of discounting His subtle signs, I don’t want to even think of joking around with a bigger sign from Him!
The quote from Esther made me think of being a beautiful daughter of God, and being His princess.
I am royalty because I am His daughter!
He loves me and He is pleased with where I am, and the job I am doing with my family, blog, and smaller volunteer commitments.
I don’t need to search for His plan – it will be given to me on His time.
I have faith that His plan will unfurl for me as the days and weeks go forward.
And, I will keep in mind I am – we all are – loved by an awesome God, who does not abandon His children!
Amen! Beautiful testimony! So often we are thinking of the future and you just reminded me too – just live in the present!
Apparently the subtle message I have been receiving for a couple weeks now resonates with someone else as well! There is no time to love the present – than the present!
Thank you for your comment!
You need to be VERY clear when you ask God for something. Many times I find myself saying, “I should have been more specific or more clear.” I got what I wanted- sort of. It just wasn’t specifically what I had in mind. Oh, have I learned!!!!!
And, I have learned to not joke when being specific. 😂
I still joke, but I remind Him that it is a joke! He knows my personality-!!!
I don’t go there with him anymore. 😉😂
I just got a referral to your blog, my kid sister thinks I have a lot to learn from you. I know I will learn since reading through this piece. Thanks and God bless you.
Aww! Thank you so much for your kind words!
And, welcome to my blog. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoy writing!
I really enjoyed your writing I have been wondering the same things at times. I know God has a plan for our lives at its for his glory. I have been unemployed for a while now and have many disappointments a long the way . I just know God must have a purpose for me ! My mom has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s Disease and I have started to write a blog to try and help me cope with it. It’s on WordPress the site is http://www.alwaysamomcom.wordpress.com . I have just recently started it! It helps me to cope a little better! I don’t know how it is! I’m just learning all this. Thank you.
Sometimes, writing things out helps us process and cope through events. I will keep you and your mom in prayers – Alzheimer’s is such a difficult illness for all involved!
Thank you for your comment, and I look forward to checking out your blog!
I love this because I can relate on so many levels. I never imaged myself as a stay at home mom and I often struggle with the “what’s next?” question. I know I’m meant to be exactly where I am but my nagging humanity is always searching for the map down a road that I didn’t know I was traveling.
Yes! So true! I’m so glad you could relate. It certainly is a struggle to identify our strengths when we begin doubting where we are, too.
I struggle with this so often! What a great reminder to be mindful and live for the now, not the later.
I think many of us do, so I am glad you enjoy the reminder!!