I often ask God for signs for direction in my life. The last time I vividly recall asking God where He wanted me, I threw out jokingly in the middle of a prayer, “God, if you don’t want me to go back to work right now, I better get pregnant as soon as my husband gets home from deployment.”
It was a joke.
Nine months after my husband’s return, we welcomed our little girl.
Throughout the years, I have learned to seek His guidance; while I frequently don’t have a habit of asking why, I do have a habit of asking where He wants me, or, what next? Sometimes, His answers are loud and unmistakable. Other times, His answers are more subtle.
Lately, I have turned to Him again, trying to determine what He wants me to do with my life currently. I know He wants me to write, and He is helping hone my voice. However, I haven’t heard anything from Him except, “Write.”
As I have struggled, sometimes through writer’s block, other times through thoughts of self-doubt or doubt about my commitment to this venture, I have also continued asking God if this is what He wants for me.
In the past few weeks, I have toyed again with re-entering the workforce, volunteering more, or just focusing on my family. I have struggled to find clarity in discerning His will for what is happening in my life.
Two weeks ago, I overheard, “Perhaps this is the exact moment for which you have been created, Esther 4:14.” That chord struck a nerve, and when I looked the passage up in my Bible, this is the exact wording that came up:
Yesterday, I finished reading Girlfriends and Other Saints: Companions on My Journey of Faith, by Teresa Tomeo. The final chapter reiterated the quote from Esther, and made me stop and realize He is sending me subtle signs.
Given my track record of discounting His subtle signs, I don’t want to even think of joking around with a bigger sign from Him!
The quote from Esther made me think of being a beautiful daughter of God, and being His princess.
I am royalty because I am His daughter!
He loves me and He is pleased with where I am, and the job I am doing with my family, blog, and smaller volunteer commitments.
I don’t need to search for His plan – it will be given to me on His time.
I have faith that His plan will unfurl for me as the days and weeks go forward.
And, I will keep in mind I am – we all are – loved by an awesome God, who does not abandon His children!