My heart has been heavy for a while now. Trying to be a Catholic Mommy blogger is not an easy feat, especially when I feel like a poser.
Confessions of this Catholic Mommy blogger:
~I don’t make my son pray before meals! I once listened to a segment of “The Catholic Guy, Lino Rulli” on SiriuxXM radio; he had his mom guest-host, and they discussed how she had never enforced the prayer before meals. I think this segment aired before my son was born, and I was comforted by their discussion. If she could raise a faithful son, and they didn’t pray before every meal, then there would be hope for this fledgling Catholic mama. As such, my son doesn’t know the “Bless Us, Oh Lord,” prayer, and I am okay with that.
~I don’t make my son pray every night before bed! Quite frankly, we got into one too many power struggles, where he was prompted to say his prayers, and he would flat-out refuse. I don’t want him to hate prayer time, and I don’t want to engage in that battle. I give him the choice of whether or not he wants to say his prayers and talk to God, and if he refuses, I move on. He may, or may not, be present when I even say my own prayers. My son knows the Sign of the Cross and the Guardian Angel prayer, but doesn’t know his Hail Mary or Lord’s Prayer, and I am okay with that.
~We don’t do “liturgical living” too well. Two days ago, I found out yesterday was the celebration of Mary’s birthday. Even though I have a Liturgical Living calendar, which is beautiful and designed to assist me in living more liturgically, apparently I missed that memo. Because I found out so late, I didn’t plan anything special. I told my son it was Mary’s birthday, and then asked him if we should go celebrate at the chapel. He responded in the negative, so we didn’t go. And, I’m okay with that.
~Speaking of going to Mass outside of Sundays, I had someone recently recommend that I just tell my son we are going, and not give him an option. I couldn’t remember why I don’t “just do it,” while we were talking. Later in the evening, I remembered – the times that I just announce we are going, and he doesn’t want to go, he makes his displeasure known during Mass – to the disruption of everyone in the chapel. My attendance at Mass becomes more of a sacrifice. Instead of feeding myself spiritually – which, if I’m honest, is the reason I try to go for daily Mass – it becomes taxing. So, if he isn’t willing to attend, we don’t go. And, I’m okay with that.
So, how do I live a Catholic Christian lifestyle with my children?
~We go to church every. single. weekend. That is a non-negotiable, and unlike daily Mass, is something for the entire family. My son knows “on Sundays, we go to church”;
~We attend Sunday school/CCD/faith studies. Since child care is not currently provided for the adult faith study I am currently attending, he sits in the same room as us, and overhears the conversations we hold, and hears us pray either the Rosary or the Divine Mercy Chaplet. So, he is hearing those prayers;
~We have faith-related books, that get pulled out during difficult weeks – my particular favorite is Shine, which I previously blogged about;
~Sometimes, my children go with me to Adoration, to spend some time with the Lord. The last time we went, I took a dinosaur with me.
He was allowed to take two secular books for himself to read, and then he was informed I was willing to read Shine or a couple faith-related board books to him while there;
~Instead of the prayers with big words (of which I include the Lord’s Prayer), I try to emphasize saying thank you to God for the “good things in our day,” saying sorry for the wrongs we have done, and asking God for blessings. We don’t do this daily, but the offer is on the bedside more nights than not;
~We try to do random acts of kindness, during our day-to-day routines. We don’t usually have long, drawn-out conversations about why we do something; instead, I am emphasizing the importance of doing, hoping it will become second nature.
I have spent a not-inconsiderable amount of time talking with a close friend about this issue, so I am not looking for reassurances that I am doing okay.
Instead, I am hoping my words reach another Catholic mommy who is afraid they are failing in their mission of evangelizing to their children.
Our children are entrusted to us by the Lord. God gave them to us, and He trusts us to do right by them.
God allows us to each choose our own teaching methods to teach the curriculum!
I am tired of feeling like a poser.
Therefore, I am reclaiming my heavy heart!
I have faith that the little steps I take now will translate to big rewards for my children in the future.
I think bringing up children up in the way of the Lord pays off hugely in the future. More grace to you
Thank you!! I am trying to do so, but I get the feeling my methods are a little different than other moms! 😳
Oh I am not catholic but I can totally relate with trying to do the right thing as a mom:-)
Honestly, I think most moms are trying to just do the right thing. I think most faith-filled families are trying their best to figure out how to bring their children up in the way of the Lord – while I have been trying to create a space in the world as a Catholic mommy blogger, I truly think God gave us each our children He deemed best for us.
And, while He gave us the curriculum, He allows us to choose, as the parents, how to best teach it to our children, regardless of religion.
Thank you for your comment!
Ok I am a bit drunk already, so please excuse me if this rambles on incoherently. And yes, it’s because of a certain woman…
Most dads are trying to do the right thing too. We are just programmed differently. We think earning a better paycheck is the way to provide our wife and kids a better life. We often forget about the value of time spent with each other, and creating memorable moments. And even if we know that intellectually, the mind washing is so deeply ingrained, that we can’t change what we do.
We love you, and we really are trying to do what we think is best, even if we know deep down that it isn’t.
Cut us a break now and then. We are trying our best.
And we really do love you…
I completely agree that most dads are also trying to do what’s best! I think I have written about the role my husband plays, too, in a couple posts.
So, you are correct – remembering and recognizing the role the husbands and dads play is so important! I know that has been something I have been working on being better about lately.
I think all parents should cut themselves some slack, and also cut each other slack.
(Also, don’t let any one person define your happiness – life is too short to allow someone else to define your happiness. Just my 2 cents. 😊)
Leading by example works so much better than anything else. One day you will provide that choice (any one of the ones you mentioned) and will say yes. You do what works for your family. God will do the rest.
Thank you! You are SO correct!
As a grandma, a woman of faith and still a mom. I think it sounds like you are doing an excellent job. I think it is great your child can witness your faith. Most times actions speak much louder than all the words you would say.
My advice: Keep it up and keep praying that one day he says yes to your offers of joining you.
Don’t beat yourself up….the world will do that for you. Extend grace, stay strong and keep the faith :).
Thank you so much for your wisdom, guidance, and words!
Remember. when we baptize them as babies it is for us, and when they are older they can choose it for themselves. That is what we learned in baptism class many years ago. You are making good choices, and you are not a poser. You are trying to not make religion a heavy weight for your kids. That is what drives many away… They will understand another day…God knows your heart and your purpose.
Thank you! You are correct they will have a choice someday, and I pray they will choose God’s path!
Am not a mummy, so I don’t know much but you’re inspiring trying to keep up with the Catholic faith. Though where am from its more a routine and you join the train with the hope that later on you’ll understand what it’s truly all about.
It most definitely CAN become routine, which is why it is so nice to know the background of why we do what we do!
Thank you so much for your kind words!!
Good on you for not giving up! Thanks for sharing!
Thank you for your comment! And, also for your encouragement!
The most important thing you can do to ensure that your children know Jesus and His Church is to be filled with the Holy Spirit yourself, and to learn as much as you can about the Catholic Faith. I have learned in the last few years (my sons are now married and not practicing the Catholic faith) that I had been trying to give away something that I did not possess myself. Believing, and being filled with the Holy Spirit , having a true relationship with Jesus yourself, is the greatest gift you can give your children. God bless you and your family:-)
Haha – I sometimes wonder if I am filled with the Holy Spirit! 😂😂 But, in all seriousness, thank you for your kind words, and just remembered St. Monica struggled greatly when her son rejected the Faith, and look at how they both turned out. 😉
Don’t be discouraged – you’re doing a great job.
We’re a new prayer in for my son, at the encouragement of our family’s chaplain, so I hope (and pray) we are on the right track! Thank you for your words of encouragement!
Nothing to worry, everything will turn out great.God is working on it. 🙂
Thank you so much! I agree – God is definitely working on it. Thank you for taking a moment to comment!