I have always said single parents are my heroes. Their ability to work full-time, raise their children, and provide for their children is amazing and inspiring. Every now and then, as a military wife, I am challenged to be a, “geographically single parent,” but I know those times have limits on them, and even on the most challenging days, there is the light at the end of the tunnel, reminding me my spouse will be home.
The word for today is:
Support.
As a mother, where would I be without my support?!
This past week, I received the referral to have my son’s speech evaluated – his “g” and “ck” sounds are not crystallizing and therefore, his articulation is still off. I spent the better part of the two nights leading up to the evaluation obsessing, my anxiety reaching elevated levels over my irrational fears. I knew my fears were irrational, but my head and heart refused to connect, and therefore much time was spent on breathing techniques and monitoring other physiological techniques to lower my stress. Thankfully, the evaluation indicated what I had logically surmised – intervention will need to only be minimal.
While I reached out to friends and family who knew my anxiety levels, and knew how to lend their support to me, I marveled at how blessed I was to have support. I was, and am, blessed to have a fantastic support system – between my husband, my family, and my friends (civilian and military alike).
I can only imagine single parents need an army of supporters in their corner, in addition to relying heavily on their own emotional strength, fortitude and dedication to their role as parent.
Mommy wars are real – there is such an intense focus on mothers judging each other, trying to outdo each other, and trying to compete.
Yet, support is so crucial to successful mothering! And, nowhere should we be able to draw more experience, more variety, and more assistance than a pool of other mothers!
I have heard from more seasoned former Army wives recently about how us “younger women,” have built and cultivated a much stronger support system than they had when their husbands were in the military. Yet, we still have much more work to do – both in the military communities, and in our civilian communities.
What would our society be like, if we met other mothers on their path of motherhood, and lifted each other up, encouraging each other?
How would we look, as mothers, if we could support each other emotionally on this parenting journey?
Even Mary traveled to her cousin Elizabeth, to offer support and love to John the Baptist’s mother, during both women’s pregnancies.
Is it possible for us to take a cue from the ultimate mother, in extending our hands, and our hearts, to support other mothers?
Support is beyond value. I just got a flat tire, and my husband couldn’t come help– but my dad was able to come. It makes me appreciate being near to family. I’m pretty okay with accepting help in emergency situations, but in regular life it’s a challenge.
For me it’s pride. I wonder if that’s a larger cultural issue with mothers today? That it’s hard to admit we need support? You post makes me think of Christina’s recent musings on this topic.
http://www.agentlemother.com/2016/09/29/yes-and-thank-you/
Thanks for sharing! 🙂
Thank you for sharing that post – I will head over and check it out in a bit!
And, you are correct – it could be a pride issue. It would make sense…
Bummer about the flat tire! But, I am happy to see you have that support close to you! I have had to work on the mantra of “Let others act as Christ” to me (I think a blog post about that is titled closely to that), and accepting offers of help allows them the opportunity to act like Christ. But, I think you are so correct – it can be hard to admit we need support … hard to admit to others, and maybe more so, hard to admit to ourselves.
Thank you for your comment, and I look forward to checking out Christina’s article!
Wonderful post. So many young moms do not have their mothers close by anymore. That is when the support of other moms….young and old is a wonderful thing. Rather like the old fashioned quilting bee :).
Yes!! I am grateful for the support I find in our military Catholic Women of the Chapel groups. They also typically have robust Protestant Women of the Chapel groups, too, which try to be more non-denominational! It is certainly helpful to be able to look in a place of worship for a welcoming, supportive community, rather than completely “going it my own…”!