Every now and then, Facebook has some pretty nifty ideas float around. Toward the end of January, an idea for a craft for children appeared on my newsfeed. The activity encouraged parents to put a paper heart with affirmations on their children’s door every night from 1 February to 14 February. It was a unique way of encouraging (older) children, and making them feel loved. In the words of some relationship guru, it is a way of filling up a child’s “Love Bank.”
My son doesn’t read, nor does he care too much for crafting activities, but I was/am trying to be more active in honoring my marriage as the primary vocation, so I decided while cheesy for an adult, it may help me add to my husband’s “Love Bank,” and would encourage me to recognize everything my husband does for my family.
It. was. a. really. cheesy. idea.
But, it was a lot of fun for me to create!
I also got my son on board, who was willing to do three days’ worth of affirmations for his dad. These were my favorite hearts on the door! 
I’ll be honest, at times, I didn’t want to sit down and find something positive to say – I was angry, or frustrated, or worn out. Not necessarily with my spouse, but with events of the day, the events of life, etc. And, like praying, I just didn’t want to do it!
But, I found some things out by sitting down and forcing myself to write down some words of affirmation for my spouse:
- Forcing myself to sit down and do this activity slowed me down, and forced me to spend time on some beautiful thoughts and memories;
- Finding affirmations, or what I love about my spouse (aside from merely, “I like your smile” – which is actually one heart) made me focus on the gifts my husband gives me merely by his presence;
- Sifting through what I’d already said, versus what I still needed to say, I realized I have begun to think of my husband more during the day (and not in the, “I just wish he’d get home to save me” kind of thinking);
- Doing this cheesy activity reminded me to pray for my husband – he works hard to provide for our family, and I don’t always thank him for his hard work, tireless days, sleepless nights, and how he accepts most “around the home tasks” without complaining (especially when my chronic fatigue condition kicks in). I have an alarm set to pray for my husband daily (I’m not even sure he knows that), but this activity really emphasized the importance of that prayer time – instead of viewing it as another alarm, I have begun being intentional in prayer, either when my alarm goes off, or while I work on this crafty heart.
- I can take things pretty personally
all theat times. This activity made me remember our marriage isn’t all about me. It is about us, and it is about God. It has made me want to give more of myself to my jobs – to caring for our children, our home, and the “simple” tasks of dishes, cooking, and, even making the bed.
Jen over at Into Your Will is encouraging participation in a series of Weekly Challenges this month; last week, she wrote about the use of “Words of Affirmation,” principle as presented by Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages. Jen’s article fit right in sync with this idea, and she gives examples of “Words of Affirmations” in her post.
If you haven’t yet identified your love language, or that of your spouse, I encourage you to check out the free quiz to do so – Words of Affirmation can be so life and love-affirming for those who respond to that language; others respond to other languages (i.e. Acts of Service, Gifts, Quality Time, Physical Touch).
Check it out, and let me know in the comments, what is your love language? If you want to disclose, what is the love language of your significant other?
This is a great post! A couple years ago when life’s frustrations seemed to be mounting up I determined I would pray for my husband and specifically I would pray that I would show respect to my husband. It was amazing how God took that simple prayer and made me love my husband more than I already did.
I love how God works (most of the time 😉)! It is so true that He really does want to help us in our marriages – we just have to seek out His help.
I am so happy someone else has had a similar experience!
I love your honest “most of the time”. I think there are many out there with very similar experiences.
Yay! What a cute (okay, cheesy) but meaningful activity. Thanks for sharing. 🙂
You’re most welcome! I appreciated that it was also budget-friendly!!
i don’t think it’s cheesy! i think it’s creative and intuitive and goes right to the heart and soul of your husband, your marriage, and yourself. it’s things like this that we look back upon and smile in the memories and the warmth of what God did through something so seemingly simple. i love everything about this 🙂
Awww!! Thank you so much! And, you hit the nail on the head – it does get us back to basics, and the heart (no pun intended?) and soul of things. Thank you for pointing that out!
What a neat idea!
Thank you! It really has been fun, and is a perk since I only used supplies around the home do do it!
My hubby would LOVE this. Maybe I’ll do it for him during Lent (because I can totally see me struggling with it too, so Lent is kinda perfect? So sad I think that, I know). That’s so cute you involved your son! And I loooove how you set your alarm to pray for your hubby – I definitely need to do that!
I stole that idea from another wife, who encouraged I set my alarm. Sometimes I brush it off.
And, if words of affirmation aren’t your love language, it’s completely understandable that it is something you struggle with! Lent would be perfect to do that!! (Maybe I should switch from hearts to vocal words of affirmation for Lent… 🤔) Thank you for that idea!
I loved your article!
I am not fond of the word affirmation since a weekly skit on Saturday Night Live years back.
A guy with low self esteem would gaze into a mirror and say something like this “I am handsome, I am smart, and doggone it, people like me.” It was a daily affirmation skit, making fun of those who were not well liked or accepted, and it was supposed to be comedy. I prefer “Words of Love”. God said that that whatever we give freely and with good spirit will return to us manyfold. I think you have discovered that in giving that love, we learn to love ourselves for our effort, we learn to love our spouses, and our children. Words of Love make everyone happier and that is always a great feeling. Words of love in the grocery store, on the street, to strangers and those we don’t even know….they all need them, and they return to us in many positive ways. Just sharing Words of Love make us happy b/c we made another happy.
Thank you! I’m glad you liked this idea. And, I know the skit well.
But, there is definitely some truth to repeating even that mantra from the skit!