A couple months ago now, I was tagged by Jessica at Pinot Noir and Prayers as part of the #RockingMotherhood challenge. The goal? To celebrate the ways I am rocking motherhood. Well, I forgot I was tagged in this challenge, until Alicia’s own post last week. And, like Alicia, I struggled with this challenge.
Let me get real, y’all…
Most days, I don’t feel like I am rocking motherhood. at. all.
Blogging allows me to create a sort of fantasy some days – a blogger’s fantasy of the kind of mom I want to be – using pictures such as this to depict what a great housekeeper and mother I am:
But, let me give you a brief glimpse of how my house really looks – aside from the neatly cropped or completely staged pictures… the way it looks three out of five days of the work week – not to mention Sundays, when I haven’t done dishes in two days:
When I look around my house, I see abject “motherhood failure“!
My children watch way too much television, play way too much iPad, and spend entirely too much time being forced to play independently.
Yet, I am aware enough that housekeeping and dish-washer are not the extent of my motherhood. My inability to play imaginatively with my children does not count in the failure, or success, of my motherhood.
So, how am I Rocking Motherhood?!
I encourage social interaction – even if I am “busy,” I am never too busy to talk to my children, or to encourage them to talk. This may have inadvertently resulted in having talkers, but I’d rather have chatter boxes instead of silence.
I am teaching them the priority of faith – my children are learning our priorities in our family are as follows: God, Family, Country. The One who sustains us is God, and His rules (10 Commandments) and prayers are more important than other activities.
I am teaching flexibility – they know that, aside from Church on Sundays and a weekly therapy appointment, nothing is more important than being flexible. We are lucky in that we don’t have school… this year. But, I am setting the stage so that, the older they get, the more they understand some obligations are important, and when we are able to relax, our family will relax with the best of them!
It is okay to own up to mistakes, failures, and imperfections – my son already has a budding perfectionist streak. I am not a perfectionist anymore, and the last thing I want my son to do is stress over his imperfections. So, since nobody is perfect, and it is an unattainable trait, I make sure they know it is okay to not be perfect. Furthermore, they are learning that while perfection isn’t possible, being the best person we can be is an admirable character trait. So, we still try our hardest.
It is okay to apologize, and to try harder next time – I have a short fuse at times (specifically when I have to repeat myself, or when I am running late). But, in the end, I know my children are picking up and learning from me, and therefore, I apologize for my shortcomings. And, I commit to try harder next time – something they see me do, and my son routinely reminds me that the goal is, “to make God smile!” Furthermore, with a new day heralding a new beginning, they are learning that every day is a new shot to try again, and to do better.
I treasure my motherhood – at the end of the day, I want my children to look back and know that I enjoyed them. I love their little personalities, their intellect, their wit, and who they are becoming, even if I am scared for them taking the world by storm. I love their strong-willed natures, and the way they just seem to know what they want. I am tickled when they display nurturing tendencies and empathy. We laugh together, we cry together, we build each other up, and we do everything together – they are my little shadows, and as exhausting as it can get, and as messy as my house can become, I am treasuring who they are becoming – the leaders I suspect they will become as they get older. We do everything together, which means they are learning every little thing about their world and how it interacts with our family.
So, today, I am trying to reach out to the other mothers – the ones who may feel as though they are failing in their motherhood. You. are. not. failing. As St. John Bosco is credited with saying, “It’s not enough to love the children; it is necessary that they are aware they are loved.”
If you are making your children aware they are loved, then you are rocking motherhood.
If I am making my children aware they are loved, then I am rocking motherhood.
And, that means I have done my job as a mother…
…Successfully.
Now comes the fun part of today’s post – I get to nominate some other fabulous bloggers to participate in this #RockingMotherhood challenge!
I am nominating:
Rosie at A Blog for My Mom
Sara at To Jesus, Sincerely
Amy at Prayer Wine Chocolate
Leslie at Life In Every Limb
Allison at Reconciled to You
The “rules” are simple:
- Thank the blogger who tagged you, and provide a link back to them;
- List 10 things (plus, or minus) you believe make you a good mother;
- Tag some other bloggers to participate in the challenge.
Let me add, I won’t be upset if the bloggers tagged choose to not participate. However, I would love to see us spreading a little bit of “Mommy love” these days – it is so important we are real with ourselves, and recognize the tremendous effort we are putting in, not just ensuring our children are surviving, but also thriving!
If you haven’t been tagged, don’t remain silent – I’d love to hear how you are Rocking Motherhood in the comments below!
You are indeed Rocking Motherhood on all fronts, and you look wonderful!
Thank you so much!! 🤗🤗
That dress!!! It’s one of my favorite colors, and you wear it well. Congratulations on making something work from deep in the closet. 🙂
And– I’m so glad you took the time to post the ways you’re r-o-c-k-i-n-g motherhood. I appreciate the real pics (our kids love to decorate the living room with clean diapers, too!). That quote from St. John Bosco is just the best. I’d heard some version of it before, but knowing it’s a Catholic thing is pretty cool.
Thanks!! I have always loved cobalt blue – didn’t realize it had a specific name until we were wedding planning! 😂
I think the St. John Bosco quote is one of my all-time favorite quotes on Motherhood!
You are my sunshine. You make me happy. ILY.
Thanks. ILY2.
Cute outfit! I’m loving this rocking motherhood concept – it’s great to think about the good things we’re doing because I know it’s so easy to focus on all the ways we feel like we’re failing. You’re definitely rocking motherhood! And thanks for reminding me to try to write my own post, ha.
Thank you for the compliment!! I will warn you – this article is more difficult to write when you sit down to identify your Rocking Motherhood strengths. For me, it’s as though my mind went blank! 😳 But, it’ll come to you!! And, I look forward to hearing the ways you feel as though you are Rocking Motherhood!
Bingo! I think the same principles apply to fathers, too – – – and although I recognize that the stereotyped roles of my childhood’s culture were incomplete, at best, I also think fathers aren’t mothers. ‘Nuff said.
My wife helped and is helping me up the father learning curve. She’s one of seven kids, I’m an ‘only,’ and it took time adjust to a larger household.
About perfectionism and is been learning the difference between what actually needs to follow the ‘a place for everything and everything in its place’ principle, and what doesn’t.
Finally, about kids and “strong-willed natures.” Our four surviving kids are on a continuum that way, as in every other aspect. But the family range seems to be from ‘firm’ to ‘unyielding.’ I like it that way, although it’s made the last few decades very interesting. “Strong-willed” is a *strength,* and so – in my view – something basically good. The trick is training that will.
Enough cracker-barrel philosophy. Good post!
I agree – much of my list is one which can also meet the guiding principles for dads, too.
As much as a struggle as it can be in the younger years, I am proud of my kiddos’ emerging strong-wills! I would agree – it will make for some interesting decades, but hopefully all the hard work now will enable them to be leaders of their community and generation when the time comes. So, I agree – it is a strength! And, I chuckled at the trick… it’s so true that training the will is the trickiest part – I like to say I am trying to teach them to use their will for good! 😂
Those pictures of your home are not failure….they are success…..The success of a mom who stays busy with her children and her family. The success of a mom who love her family and isn’t afraid to let the “messiness” of family get in the way of being the best mom she can! Hang in there….you are doing great.
Awww!! Thank you for the words of affirmation! And, I like to think I pick my battles, and cleaning is not my biggest battle. 😈
When raising children….cleaning is overrated. Look on the bright side it probably helps build good antibodies LOL.
I completely agree!! I’m definitely the mom who says, “eh, they’re working on building antibodies…” Definitely not a helicopter parent!
Thanks for the tag, Anni! Definitely makes me think… We’ll see if those thoughts make it into a post 😉
Love the cobalt blue dress!! I’ve got a lot of my wardrobe that I’m looking forward to fitting back into but… Still have 10-15 pounds to go! Stretchy clothes post partum ftw!!
Stretchy clothes are definitely a lifesaver the last remaining post-partum pounds!!
Also, I hope you will join this challenge, but understand if you do not. I considered not, but the message I formulated really wanted to be written. So, it came out! 😂
Cobalt is, by far and away, my favorite color to wear!
Thank you so much for tagging me! I’ll try my best to get some thoughts written down 🙂 I love your real life rocking motherhood. We don’t need to be perfect, but we need to do our best. I’ll keep that in mind while I brainstorm my own post… this might be difficult haha. <3
Haha! I certainly hope you do accept this and write about it. It’s deceiving in its difficulty – but, it’s also rewarding to put your thoughts down! I look forward to reading your thoughts on how you are Rocking Motherhood!
I realized I hadn’t read your responses yet!
I love your last reason so much. Treasuring motherhood I think makes you a great mom by default. If you treasure it, your kids will know and that makes all the difference.
Thank you! I completely agree… I loved your answers, too!
Thank you! I certainly enjoyed reading your reasons, too!
Okay I cannot even convey how awesome this is! Girl, you are seriously rocking real motherhood! Love it!
Haha! Thank you so much! You, too, are Rocking Motherhood…!