I didn’t write last week – at all. At least, not outside of my head.
Last week was a doozy. I was solo-parenting while my husband was out of town. The kids were being kids, meaning I was trying to keep a house running and maintained, a schedule somewhat cohesive, and making sure small humans stayed alive.
It was a rough week.
I yelled at kids.
I cried to myself.
I was miserable.
I was a walking 34 year old temper tantrum.
What was worse, is I didn’t think I wanted to change my behavior. At least, not until I was sitting there on the verge of falling asleep after children were in bed…
And, amidst the misery, for several days, I woke up and recognized what I was most grateful for last week…
Last week, I was most grateful for a new day.
Every morning, I woke up with the intention to start fresh. It was a new day, and I got another chance. Another chance to do better – to be gentler, to be kinder, to be more loving. And, some days, I blew that second chance, but then I was given a third, and a fourth, and a fifth chance.
Which brings me to my gratitude thoughts this week.
This week, I am most grateful for a loving, merciful God.
It sounds like a cop-out to say I know why my behavior was so abnormal last week, and to say God knows as well. But, He does.
And, this week, I am most grateful that He knows everything – even when sometimes I wish He didn’t.
Because He knows all the circumstances surrounding my grumpiness, my attitude, my tantrums. Regardless of whether it was last night, last week, last year, He is privy to my most intimate moments, and knows His plans for me.
He also knows how I may react sometimes.
I’m not excusing my behavior at all – because although He knows how I may react, He is always constantly there, gently calling at me, tugging at me to react in a better manner. He is always trying to encourage me to respond in a positive, loving way to the curveballs thrown in my path. He is always there, ready to encourage me to be my best, to do my best, to respond my best.
But, when I don’t…
When I fail…
When I lose sight…
He is there, loving me, waiting for me to turn to Him and seek His forgiveness.
He is just waiting for me to invite Him into my life to transform me.
And, that makes me so very, very grateful.
So, it’s been a couple weeks since my last Gratitude Post, but I haven’t given up on this project.
There’s a lot going on in this world right now – many natural disasters hitting throughout the world – and, throughout the United States. Please join me in praying for those being impacted by Mother Nature and the natural disasters.
Let me know a ray of sunshine in your life the past couple weeks… and, let me know what you are most grateful for this week!
Until next week, dear reader…
YOU and the kids are my ray of sunshine.
Have your temper tantrum, get angry, and be a normal human. Sometimes I think that trying to be perfect gives us a bad message- when we aren’t perfect,we are not good enough. Yes,we are. God knows we are human and imperfect, but he isn’t interested in us beating ourselves up. Just in getting up and trying again for what we can do. We are enough for God even in our failings. As long as we try again. YOU are enough. You are struggling and that is what getting up and trying again means. After our struggle, we try again. Humility is something we need to learn. God loves you, be the best you can be, and know that you are loved.
Thank you!
Rough week here too! Sometimes I think I’m most grateful that God gave me such a strong stubborn streak. I will think I want to give up, but I know I won’t. I know I will not be able to ignore those little whispering calls to keep going, to try something new.
God and I have a relationship that most often consists of a dialog that goes something like this:
Me: “It’s not working, I can’t do this, it’s all going no where!!”
God: “Pay attention, listen, I got this with you.”
Me: “…..fine….”
That is a beautiful thing to be grateful for!! And, I totally read the dialogue with a recalcitrant toddler attitude… because you are SO right in how that goes! 😂