Back-to-School: Inspiration for the Lonely Mama

If you follow me on social media, you might have noticed the most recent post to Instagram or Facebook. The overwhelming messages left, or sent privately, left me humbled, saddened, and relieved.

I haven’t had to make friends from scratch for over four years. The last time we moved, we moved to a place where I had already met some wonderful women in the chapel, so I didn’t have to put on a brave face. As I took my oldest for his first day of school last week, I hadn’t realized that there is a whole different world outside my little “home trailer,” or the chapel, or that I would be reminded that not everyone is as warm and welcoming as the groups of people I have surrounded myself with since Hawaii.

I was humbled last week – my experience, and the similar experiences others have subsequently shared with me, is a stark reminder to always, always be welcoming to the new face in the crowd. It’s a reminder to look at every “new” person in the eye, smile, and say, “Welcome! I’m glad you’re here…” or something similar. No matter how settled we may be in a group or situation, this situation was a reminder to me to always extend the welcoming presence to someone who may be unsettled.

Furthermore, it was a reminder to always give individuals more than one chance. My first run-in with one of the “cool moms” was a day where I developed an unusual migraine. My demeanor was not as jovial as I would have liked, simply because I was having sensitivity to light, noise, and life. The next day, although briefly speaking with her when we dropped our children off, and was subsequently dismissed as I approached the sidewalk where we waited to pick up our children, I realized I may not have made the best first impression the day before. And, I remembered how quick it is to judge another person based on first impressions, but a first impression isn’t always what it seems.

I was saddened to hear from others who have experienced similar instances. Most of us would like our middle school days to remain firmly in our rearview mirrors, both because of our fashion choices, but also because it turns out, many of us were miserable. I was saddened because the more I considered our society, the more entrenched I began to feel that the change we all profess to want to see begins at home. It begins with small children watching the kind of person their parent is, and they will take their cues from their parents. If children see their parents exclude another parent for any reason, they will begin to think it’s okay to exclude… not just the excluded parent’s child, but other children as well. And, the cycle of exclusion, and the ultimate loneliness we want to see eradicated, will continue. That saddens me to no end.

Lastly, I was relieved to hear from others. Mainly because there is strength in numbers, and I know that I am not alone! I grieve for those who have never had someone to remind them that they are beautiful, they are loved, and they are cherished children of God.

Yet, that’s why I feel called to blog. Because I have faith that the reminder of that message will find its way onto the screen of the woman who needs to read it the most.

So, to the mama who may be feeling lonely these days, take a moment to digest the following words. As I wrote so long ago, say them ten times a day until they start to sink into your head… and, more importantly, into your heart:

You are beautiful.

You are loved.

You are a cherished child of God.

At the end of the day, my response to the “cool moms” is what is most important. I can lambaste them, throw shade toward them, or think bad things of them. And, I have to admit, I struggled this past weekend to not give in to excoriating them – both in thought and word.

Yet, every time I began to get angry, there was a calm voice running under the current – pray for them.

I have learned through the past five years that prayer is an amazing thing. When I pray for someone I don’t get along with, or someone who has hurt me, I find myself changing. I am strengthened and given a different perspective. I stop finding fault with the other individual/s, and rather, focus on the contributions I can bring to the world – I focus on being the change I would like to see. So, if you are struggling with another person, I encourage you to join me in praying for them. And, I hope you will see the change I have seen when I pray for another, and for the entire situation!

Change, in any situation, is unsettling. One thing I have learned through the many, many years of change I have experienced, is that change is what you make of it.

And, change will be either a negative, or a positive experience.

My initial post topic scheduled for today was going to highlight the change our family has experienced, and the strength I find with my faith. Between the birth of our third child this past April, the move to a new duty location, and my eldest child’s heading off to “big kid school,” today’s post was originally centered on an excited announcement of the e-book, I have worked hard to create in the past month! The topic of the e-book is centered on change – more specifically, adjusting to change.

You, dear reader, have free access to this e-book if you subscribe to my newsletter. Those who subscribe to my newsletter will be given advanced insight to my projects, thoughts on how to apply Sunday Bible readings to our daily lives as Christian women, and links of where to find some of my other online work. I will also offer other deep thoughts and inspiration to those who have subscribed to the newsletter.

The e-book I have created, available to those who complete the sign-up/subscription process for my newsletter, is a precursor to some other pretty amazing projects I have undertaken, which will be unfolded in due time! But, for now, let me explain a little more about my e-book.

“Change with the Psalms: A Seven Day Workbook for Addressing Change in Our Lives” offers readers a glimpse into seven verses from the Book of Psalms, and ways in which those verses help us to tackle change in our lives. From births of small humans, to adding a new fur-baby, to moving, to beginning a new job, to sending a child off to school, or to college for the first time – change can be daunting. This book delves into the psalms, offers a reflection, and then poses some questions to help the reader move through their change for a positive outcome.

So, if you have already subscribed to my WordPress account to receive updates when I write an article, this is an entirely different subscription. My newsletter will be sent once a month, whereas the WordPress subscriptions go out every time an article is published. To sign up for my Newsletter, you can reload this page and sign up using the pop-up window, or scroll to the right side tab to subscribe to my newsletter, or find it at the bottom of the page. But, to receive the little bit of Beautiful Camouflage inspiration, sneak peeks of projects, and more, you’ll have to submit your e-mail, then confirm (be sure to check your junk box or spam folder from “Anni”). Once that process is complete, you will receive my FREE e-book, “Change with the Psalms,” and you will receive a monthly newsletter from yours truly!

I pray you will continue to follow my writing journey, and my brand for Christian-based inspiration.

I would love to see this world change, one person, one reader at a time, through being intentional in our interactions with others, and growing and nurturing our relationships with each other, by growing closer to God.

So, to the lonely mama, keep in mind:

You are beautiful.

You are loved.

You are a cherished daughter of God.

To the struggling mama, keep in mind:

You are beautiful.

You are loved.

You are a cherished daughter of God.

To the woman experiencing major change in her life:

You are beautiful.

You are loved.

You are a cherished daughter of God.

And, our Father delights in each and every one of you!